Leah Malone - an upcoming World Racer wrote this. I feel like it is the perfect description of how I live my life now!
Training Camp takes place
in the woods of middle-of-nowhere Georgia
where you're kindly fed fish head soup, ugali,
and a grilled tomato banana and cheese sandwich.
Where you sleep in tents,
then on a school bus,
then under a tarp.
And you go to bed after midnight
only to wake up a few hours later,
before even a hint of the sun rise,
to freeze your buns off at morning exercise
running up and down the hills of Georgia. Yep, these people are crazy.
Some of these people are alumni.
People who flew, drove, and hitchhiked
to spend the week at training camp
sleep deprived.
Serving us by scrubbing toilets,
waking up at 4am to cook our food for the day,
and praying life/truth into us
over and over and over again.
Their clothes never match
…I'm pretty sure they've forgotten how.
They saw greatness in me and pushed me towards it.
They're ALWAYS either-
a. dancing
b. laughing or
c. praying. These people are crazy!
Speaking of prayer-
Its like the real deal for these people. Rarely …never... did I hear prayer start with
“Dear Heavenly Father”.
Usually it started more like
“Hey Daddy” or,
“Its me again Papa” or,
“Abba we love you” or simply,
“Hi!”
…It's almost like they KNOW this guy. These people are crazy.
They stand on chairs
Or in the middle of the woods on chairs
And yell things.
Declarations they like to call them. These people are crazy.
During worship there are people
laughing,
dancing,
praying,
sitting,
and standing.
Some people have their hands in the air,
and others have their faces on the ground. Yikes. These people are crazy.
These people dream about
shutting down every brothel,
ending the AIDS epidemic in Swaziland,
getting clean water for African villages,
seeing Haiti restored,
and finding a loving home for every orphan. They dream about these things
because they're actually living to make them happen.
I'm telling you- these people are crazy.
Everyday normal conversation
consists of things like-
fire tunnels,
feedback,
declarations,
poop problems,
and ridiculously awesome
workings of the Holy Spirit. These people are crazy.
And apparently,
after traveling the world for 11+ months
it becomes difficult, if not impossible,
to speak in full sentences.
Because of this,
everything is shortened by an acronym.
ATL,
OES,
TIA…
I guess I should start practicing! These people are crazy.
These people actually believe everyword of the Bible to be true.
They believe healings are possible. Now. Today.
They believe that God breathes and life happens.
They believe we are no longer slaves to sin.
They believe that the power of Christ is IN us.
They believe and pray the same prayer Jesus did-
“on earth as it is in Heaven”.
And you know what…
I've started praying that too.
Because I actually really, really like that idea.
On earth as it is in Heaven?
Absolutely. Bring it on.
There's no doubt in my mind
that those strange Kingdom minded people
who I met this week in the woods of Georgia
are absolutely CRAZY.
But what I decided this week is, I'm ready to be crazy too!
The Kingdom of God is worth my abandonment.
Travis Lee from Groves, TX - in fact, a member at FBCG 4-E is about to embark on the World Race. I would LOVE it if you showed him the same amount of love and support that you have shown me in the last 3 years. Follow his blog - encourage him, pray for him, financially support him. I believe that he will go further than I ever did on the Race and He WILL see miracles and healings - things I prayed for! I believe that my ceiling gets to be his floor and he will begin where I ended!! :)
Oh my - there is so much I could share with you about my trip to Cabo Rojo, Puerto Rico!
First - you should know that I lead this trip with two incredible leaders. Josh Markland went on the World Race in July 2008 and then went on to the G42 leadership academy in Mijas, Spain. He was an incredible source of wisdom, discernment, teaching and a fantastic example to our kids of what a man of God looks like! Then, there was Kari Collins - a fiery and hilarious red head! Kari was on a Real Life trip to India last year - where she grew tremendously in her faith. She is getting married at the end of August and Kari gave so much love to our kids! I could never have done this trip without the two of them and I honestly believe we made a perfect team! Where one of us was weak, one or both of the other two was strong - it was nice to be able to not only rely on them, but to trust and believe in them 100%!
We had 14 high school students on our trip - each one of them played such a huge role in making this trip a success. They were the funniest kids I have been around in a long time... each of them had an amazing sense of humor. We would spend at least 2 hours a night laughing and making fun of each other - and the three of us leaders were usually the brunt of all the jokes!!! We had a blast!
Our ministry was varied and it was incredible to see our kids serve. We worked at a Christian Church/School named Centro Christiano de Restauracion! Mama Gloria Montalvo was our contact and the two of us really bonded! She was an amazing woman of faith and her love for the Lord and her commitment to ministry was such an inspiration to me. In the mornings, our kids would lead the devotion times for the children at the school and every afternoon we would have a different ministry. For a few days, we did door to door evangelism, which included walking throughout the nearby neighborhood and asking the people if there was anything they would like us to pray for. It was so great to see the kids step out in faith and be bold in praying for the people. We built some very special relationships with the people there - especially with a lady named Carmen, who took us into her home and allowed the kids to pray for her and speak into her life.
We saw some amazing miracles happen during our small 10 day stay in Puerto Rico. Most of our kids have grown up in church but did not know that they could hear God speak to them. We gave them time everyday to ask God to speak to them and it was amazing to hear the things that He was telling them everyday. They were finding their real identity and truth in what He was saying about them. One of our girls started seeing visions during our time, one girl saw an angel, and one of our boys started praying healing over people and I saw with my own two eyes -a rash physically disappear off of one of our kids legs. It was amazing to see them step out in faith and even more amazing to watch their faith grow because of how they trusted God!
I want you to know what an amazing trip this was - and I want to thank you so much for the way you invested in me and helping to send me on this trip. I am so thankful and I want you to know that these 14 kids lives were completely altered as they experienced the miraculous side of God - and I am sure that they will never be the same again! I fell in love with these kids and I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to spend 3 weeks with them.
I have decided to do a blog series honoring my supporters. I want all of you to know who they are and how much each of them means to me.
So, today -- I am starting with Mrs. Blevins, my 7th grade science teacher. Mrs. Blevins is actually named Lori Teague now, but it is hard for me still to call her Lori! When I was in 7th grade at Groves Middle School, I was soooo lucky to get Mrs. Blevins for science! She was my favorite teacher and I thought she was the most beautiful and kind person I had ever met. I don't remember a whole lot about the class, except when I had to carry around a sack of sugar - pretending like it was a baby during our genetics lesson. But, I do remember loving Mrs. Blevins and wanting her to be my friend ... not just my teacher. I am pretty sure I wrote her letters all the time and I also would visit her before school started. I used every amount of time I could to see and be around her.
I very clearly remember my 8th grade year - on the last day of school.
(Me, Kim Guilbeaux, and Genevieve Strickland on the last day of 8th grade)
I got "saved" in the 6th grade and ran around the school telling all of my friends that I got "saved" and they could too! Even two years later, the enthusiasm had not died down and my goal of 8th grade was to get Mrs. Blevins "saved"!!! We had not had a conversation about her salvation, but all I knew was that I could not leave Middle School (thinking I would never see her again - because she was pregnant with her daughter, Kate - and was not returning to teaching) unsure of her salvation. I went to her classroom after school was over with all intentions of witnessing to her!! Unfortunately Trayce Boudoin was occupying her time - so I could not tell her all I wanted to tell her.
It is funny now, because she was a Christian already and I had NO idea at that point in my life that she would become one of my greatest supporters. Not just financially, but spiritually and emotionally. Over the years since 8th grade - Lori (Mrs. Blevins) Teague has been an amazing friend to me. She has literally kept up with me since the summer after my 8th grade year - through letters, phone calls, and emails. Her support has helped carry me through some of the most difficult seasons of my life - in particular, when my precious friend Jared, was suffering with brain cancer. Her love, encouragement, support and prayers brought light into a very dark situation in my life.
She has been a huge fan of everything I have done and has been very verbal about how much she believes in me! It means so much to know that she is always there - cheering me on! I know that no matter where I go and no matter what I do - Lori Teague believes in me! It is because of Lori and a few others that I find the courage to do what I feel like God is calling me to do .... because I know that no matter what that is - she will support me!
I love you Lori (Mrs. Blevins) Teague - and I am unbelievably thankful that God brought you into my life when I was 13 years old. You have changed my life in so many ways - I can never express to you what your love and support means to me!
I got some GREAT news a few weeks ago. I was asked to be the leader of an Ambassador trip to Puerto Rico this summer. I will be leading this trip of 15, 14-18 year olds from June 13 - July 2!
We will have an opportunity to minister to the locals of Puerto Rico. Puerto Rican residents in impoverished
conditions need the hope and encouragement of Christ. We will partner with local ministries and churches to
participate in outreach opportunities such as child ministry, visiting
local orphans or nursing homes, door to door evangelism, and sports
ministry.
I am thrilled with the opportunity to go to Puerto Rico - as I have never been there before. But, even more than that - is to have the chance to pour into the lives of teenagers. Throughout all of my college career - I was able spend lots of time with teenagers during Disciple Now weekends and I do miss watching God move in their lives. It really excites me to get to watch these teens not only learn to love people of another culture, but to fall more in love with the Lord, find themselves in Him, and fall in love with missions.
I specifically remember that I was 14 years old when I felt the Lord calling me into a life of ministry. I had no idea that would lead me around the world and to where I am now in my life. I would love for you to be a part of this ministry. Your prayers are so appreciated and I know that they make a huge difference. I believe this trip is going to be a huge transition for a lot of these kids and I am privileged to get to walk with them through this journey.
If you would like to give toward this trip - the cost of the trip is $2,000. You can give by clicking HERE or you can click on the link on the top left side of this page labeled "Support Me"! I am so thankful for all the support you have always given to me. You have literally sent me around the world and I would not be where I am in my journey with the Lord if it were not for the ways you have loved and provided for me over the years!
I went to Dallas Baptist University from 2002-2006. During my four years - I spent the majority of my time with Glowing Heart Ministry - the on campus worship ministry. We traveled almost every weekend to churches across Texas doing Disciple Now weekends and leading worship at DBU's Chapel on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings.
My Junior year of school - I met a sweet girl in my English class named Kari. She would always ask me about the songs we sang during chapel. She seemed so interested in the worship and wanted to know certain songs - I guess to take back to her church, etc. One of the songs we sang during that year was the Revelation Song and I loved that song so much. It was a song that I took on as a personal anthem in my life. It was at that time, a really popular song from Christ for the Nations - which was only about 10 minutes down the road from DBU. I had no idea until the middle of my senior year -- that the beautiful lead voice on that song was my friend in English class, Kari. That is when I found out that my friend Kari from English was actually Kari Jobe, the worship leader at Christ for the Nations.
When I started the World Race, the Revelation Song was much more popular than I had any idea of. All 52 people on my Squad knew and loved it ... again it became an anthem for many. And more than that - people on my squad knew who Kari Jobe was ... which was really shocking to me. I had just found out not long before that trip that my sweet friend that I sat by in English class was that same incredible voice that I listened to. So, it was insane to me that all these other people not only knew who she was and loved her, but were HUGE fans of her music. In the last few years, since graduating from DBU - Kari has done some pretty incredible things. She has continued to make music and is now a Dove Award winner and a very popular worship leader.
So, when my friend Bekah asked yesterday if anyone wanted to go see Kari Jobe with her at a church close to Gainesville - I jumped on the chance. Not only have I grown to really love Kari's music and worshiping with her voice ... I had never (until this morning) actually heard Kari sing in person. So me and some girls went to church this morning and had an incredible time worshiping with Kari and her band. I got to spend a few minutes with her after the service and catch up - we both have had a lot going on since we last saw each other ... of course, mine did not include winning highly esteemed music awards.
If by chance, you have never heard any of Kari's music - watch this video below. I am so proud of her and love hearing what God is saying through her. You can also visit her website here: Kari Jobe!
What a great 3 weeks ... not exactly the amount of time I was expecting to be in TX, but great none the less.
I flew home on Dec. 23rd into Houston. Almost as soon as I got home, I borrowed my Mom's car and drove into Beaumont for the Best Friend Christmas party!! I have been friends with these people my whole life -- some since kindergarten ... others since high school, but most of my life!! We had the best time together ... I laughed harder that night than I have in a long time. I am so thankful for those friendships - that I know I will always have. They are not only the funniest people that I know ... but we are more like family than just friends and I hope that for the rest of our lives we are as close as we have always been.
I then drove back to my sister's house the next morning and spent the next 7 days at Randi's house - spending time with my family. We had a GREAT Christmas together and getting to spend that much time with the kids was so great! Cason & Mackenli are 3 1/2 - so they had a really good time opening all of their presents this year. Ryleigh, being 2 - was not that interested in opening her gifts and it was funny to watch Randi have to make her sit down to open all of her presents.
I then went to Crystal Beach for the New Year's weekend with my friends! Don't be fooled- there is nothing "Crystal" about it!! But, we had a blast!! Again, we laughed the entire weekend! And - we danced until we could dance no more .... that's a lie -- we will never be too danced out!
I spent some time back in Groves for a few days after the New Year and spent some time with friends and family. It was back to Houston until January 9th and I really enjoyed spending the last few days of my vacation with my family - just relaxing and being with the kids. Well, so I thought! Turns out - there was a HUGE snow storm heading for Atlanta -- and so, my flight that was supposed to be on the 9th - did not happen until Thursday the 13th!
There is still a crazy ton of snow here in Gainesville and one street at my apartment complex you cannot drive on because it is covered in ice! Although it is good to be back and at work - it was hard to leave my family and friends after such a great time with all of them. I feel like the older the kids get - the harder it is to leave them. And, I realize just how special it is that I have the friendships at home that I do. What we have is unique and I don't ever want to lose it!!
I borrowed this blog from one of the July 2010 Racers, Stacey Compton, and hope that you can hear the desperation in her words. This is why I do what I do ... because I have seen the pain and suffering in this world and I cannot go on pretending like it isn't there. As painful as it is...I pray that God would continue to break my heart for what breaks His heart! -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've been sitting in front of my computer,
staring at the screen and waiting for the right words to describe the
state of my heart. It's just me in our bedroom, forced to sift through
my thoughts. Sylvia calls me to the living room for lunch, so I re-focus
my eyes and crawl out of bed to join her and the kids. My mind still
seems to be in a haze. I sit down to begin eating, then look up and
realize that Sylvia has asked me a question; she's staring at me and
waiting for a response. I force a smile, answer her question, and tell
her thank you for the delicious meal. Sylvia asks me if I'm tired, she
can sense something is bothering me. I tell her everything's fine, then
join in the conversation at the appropriate times throughout lunch and
retreat back to my room; my mouth is trained to speak the right words,
but my mind is far away from me since yesterday.
Yesterday. The day God decided to break my heart; the day I felt
like a tidal wave crashed into me. The day God decided He could take the
scales off my eyes and expose me to the gravity of the world's
problems. The day I breathed in the stench of mud puddles filled with
feces. The day I walked the streets of Luongwe with Jeremy and was
overwhelmed by the people around me; a drunk man tried to take my
grocery bags from me, a young girl ran behind me and pulled my arm while
asking for money, and a group of teenage boys followed us to the gate
of our house, ignoring the fact that we asked them to leave. Those parts
of the day barely scratch the surface of the array of experiences that I
had.
Earlier in the day, Jeremy and I went to town to buy groceries and
check e-mail. I've been overcome with tiredness the past few days, so my
mind was in a fog as we walked down the sidewalk lined with elderly
women begging for food and money. In a sense, I feel like my mind has
become numb to the poverty surrounding me; it's now normal for me to be
asked for money twenty times a day, normal to hardly ever eat meat,
normal to pile in a small bus with thirty people and various kinds of
animals, normal to take a shower with water out of a bucket, and normal
for me to lay my head down in a house with no electricity. It seems
normal because it's been my life for the past 5 months, but that doesn't
mean poverty is acceptable. It's 11 months for me and a lifetime for
these people.
As I was walking down the street and wondering if my heart had
become hardened to the conditions around me, I saw him; a young
teenager, no older than 15, lying dead on the sidewalk. It looked as
though he were sleeping, but his motionless body position and the flies
swarming around his head told me otherwise. I diverted my eyes, stepped
around him, and continued walking. I told myself I couldn't do anything
about it and thought surely someone would move his body to a proper
place.
Several hours later, we walked down the same sidewalk. I'm going to
name the young teenager Peter, because it seems like his life was
meaningless if I continue to refer to him as a nameless boy. Peter's
body still lie on the sidewalk; someone had taken the time to cover his
face with a jacket, but no one had moved him.
As we walked past, I noticed two boys around the age of 7 sitting
on a pile of rocks a few feet from Peter's body. They shouted out
Mazungo (white man) to us, ignoring the fact that there was a dead body
separating us, took a sip of their Coke, flashed us a cheesy grin, and
continued chattering to each other; something broke inside of me during
that very moment. I grieved for the loss of innocence of those children;
the fact that they are non-chalant towards death and unfazed by things
that take my breath away.
I tried to focus on finding the bus stop and attempted to forget
the image that was burned into my mind; my stomach was in a knot and I
was sure I would vomit at any second. I couldn't help but wonder if
anyone was looking for Peter, or if he even had a family that would miss
him. How many children in the world live that kind of life? A life
robbed of innocence and care-free giggles.
I allowed myself to feel the hurt of the people around me in
Ireland and felt like my heart was being wrenched inside of me; I wept
for what seemed like days, a pain that I didn't want to feel again. But,
these people don't get to choose whether they experience that
pain...it's their reality. For the first time since then, I gave myself
permission to fall apart; permission to cry out for the people that live
in this despair...the people that are so often just faces on a poster
or a television screen.
I don't have a 3 step solution to solve the inhumanity and
injustice in the world. I don't know where to go from here. I'm only one
person, but I do know that I've seen and now I have a responsibility to
DO SOMETHING. I do know that I'm not the same person I was 24 hours
ago. I do know that one person can start a ripple effect of change in
the world. I do know that I asked the Lord to break my heart for what
breaks His; He answered me in a less than ideal way, but He still
answered me nonetheless. I've gone from counting the costs of what God
is continuing to speak to me about the plans for my life, to counting
the times that I hear God say to do more....something I've tried to
ignore and go on with life as I had it planned. I don't know where to go
from here, but I'm taking steps forward towards the person that God is
calling me to be...and that's a start.
This past month and a half has been the busiest time of my life in a long time. At the beginning of the month, I made a very quick trip to Texas. I spoke at the Sertoma Club meeting in Port Arthur about my time on the world race and support opportunities. It was so fast and I was in and out of Groves in a day! Then, I spent the weekend with my family celebrating Ryleigh Ranae's 2nd birthday .... she is WAY TOO CUTE and boy does she know it!
Then, I came back to Georgia and almost immediately we started our last training camp of the year. This training camp was our largest so far and was really special to me for a few reasons. In January, we are sending out 4 World Race squads, the T,U, and V squads (we have been assigning letters since the 2nd year of the Race -- I was on the H squad in Jan 2009). We are also sending out a World Race squad that is specifically working with victims of trafficking and they will travel for 4 months to Thailand, Cambodia, India and America to work with ministries that are directly involved with rescuing people out of the trafficking industry. This training camp was special to me because I am directly connected to two girls who are leaving on the Race in January. Joy Robertson -- a fireball of a girl, was someone who is passionate about seeing the wrongs of the world become right -- she and I spent a few years together at Dallas Baptist University. Lauren Rush -- she and I have a few mutual friends and I am so excited to see what all the Lord is going to do in her life. She lives in Beaumont, TX and just graduated from Lamar University .... is a member of Church on the Rock. It makes me so excited to see the lives that will be changed because of these two women!
Then, at the end of training camp, I flew to Chicago for the Hanna/Brown wedding! You may remember my teammate, Dave Brown ... well, he was going to marry the girl of his dreams, my dear friend Ashli Hanna. They met on the Race and became very close friends, but did not fall in love until it was all said and done. They began dating in February and immediately knew it was right. As soon as Dave told me -- I agreed that this was the right thing. This was my first time in almost a year to see most of my "Spectacle family" (I had seen Di and Anna before this)! So, Dave, Rachel, Jenn and I got to have small family reunion.
*Don't mind the cute little girl who wanted to get in our pic!
Then, I flew back to Georgia and almost immediately had the Stirred
Conference at AIM. People came from all over to participate in the weekend of
worship. Jonathan David Helser and
his band were with us again and it is always incredible to have them
around. I personally allowed
myself to dive more into the presence of the Lord and learn how to hear His
voice and speak it over people! It
was so great to see so many alumni and catch up with friends. Here is a picture of the H Squad alumni
that were in for the weekend...
A few days
later, my sister, Ashli, came in town to hang out with me. It was not long, but we had so much
fun! She is moving to the Middle
East in a week or so and this was my last time to see her for several
months. Unfortunately, her camera
battery was dead and I did not think to get a picture of us together. We spent time around the cute little
town of Gainesville and then traveled into Atlanta for a fun night of
dancing! Boy did we have fun! It was by far, the best night of people
watching I have had in a really long time. I am so glad we got to spend some quality time together
before she leaves!
Last, my
friend, Zack came in to see me - all the way from Canada!! Actually, he and his
friend were driving from Canada to Arizona and they happened to stop by
Gainesville, Georgia on the way to see me! It was sooo good to see him, as he was the last of the “Spectacles”
for me to see. I was not sure how
much longer I could wait to see him, so it was perfect timing when he
came. We immediately started
acting like brother and sister again...he may have even left a bruise on my arm
from laughing and punching me in the arm.
It was way too short, but so refreshing to see him. We have vowed to do a better job of
keeping in touch! He even brought
me some gifts from Scranton, Pennsylvania, the site of our favorite sitcom, The
Office! We spent many hours
watching episodes of The Office together!
Thanks for taking the time to read my last month ... whew! I enjoyed every minute of it, but I am glad it is over. Now I am ready to spend time with my family in Texas for Thanksgiving!
Here is the deal - when I love something or someone - I tend
to be pretty vocal about it.When my
sister, Randi, was pregnant with the twins ... I literally spent hours a day
thinking about them, talking about them and imagining what life would be like when
they arrived.I am sure that I drove
everyone around me nuts with the amount of time I spent talking about them and
making them look at picture after picture!It is just who I am!Some like to
call it obsessive - I prefer loyal, dedicated and passionate!!
With all that said - about 4 years ago, I started watching
the Ellen DeGeneres show pretty faithfully and I got hooked.She not only has the greatest sense of humor,
but how can I resist a show that promotes dancing?!!It got to where the absolute highlight of my
day was coming home after work and watching the Ellen show.Did not matter what happened during the day -
Ellen could always put me in a great mood!God called me to go on the World Race and I can honestly say that besides
leaving my family and friends - I seriously mourned having to go an entire year
without getting to watch Ellen.So, I
found a small solution - I brought her stand-up DVD with me on the Race and not
only did I watch it every month, but I forced others into watching it with me
(and they LOVED it)!!I like to say that
I spent a year as a missionary converting others ... into Ellen fans!!
On the Race - my heart for Ellen began to grow ... maybe it
was the absence that did it to me.But,
truly, I felt like God was calling me to start praying for her - really praying
for her.So, for the past almost 2 years
now ... I have been faithfully praying for her.I pray more of God's presence in her life and I pray that He would be so
real to her that she would never doubt.I pray that any false words about the Lord that have been spoken to her -
that He doesn't love her or that she is unacceptable to Him ... would fall out of
her mind and that God would surround her with people that not only love Him,
but have a way of bringing His presence into her life daily.My heart is that above all other things - she
could be settled in knowing that Christ is passionately in love with her!
So, let's just say - going to the Ellen show was an actual
dream of mine and something I talked about at least 3-5 times a DAY ...
seriously, ask my friends!!I have had
many plans for my friendship with Ellen - but I never thought I would ACTUALLY
get to go to her show.It all happened
so fast and after a quick conversation with a new friend, an email appeared in
my inbox that read VIP Ellen tickets
9/20 - and I literally could not open it.I made my friend, Ashley, open the email and read it to me ... while I
stood with my face against a wall and tried to remember to breathe!!I could not believe that my actual dream was
going to come true and that this woman that I have prayed for and that I truly
care about (even though I don't personally know her) - would be so close to
me.Now I just hoped for some sort of
personal moment with her - to be able to share my heart with her or really just
dance with her.
I woke up the day of the show nervous and just anticipating
a lot.And, somehow by seriously the
grace of God, I stayed calm!As we got
to the studio, I just couldn't believe my actual dream was happening before my
eyes.I tried to make sure that I took
it all in and just enjoyed every single moment.When we were brought into the studio, myself and the two girls with me
were seated on the very front row of the audience and that was really
exciting.There is about 45 minutes or so where the
audience is getting "warmed-up" and there is a lot of dancing and singing
happening.We even get to practice
clapping and cheering...but of course, the dancing was my favorite.Everyone knows that this missionary LOVES to
booty dance!! Then, much to my surprise - they announced Ellen.This was my only freak out moment - I was so
startled by it that I just ran in place and screamed at an octave I did not
know existed in my voice!!Then, when I
almost passed out from the screaming, I just stood, with my hand on my heart,
and tried to take in the fact that Ellen DeGeneres was standing 10 feet in
front of me ... and I was just so happy!!My
heart was so happy and content for the next hour - and I made sure to dance my
heart out during all the commercial/dance breaks!!
The show was really great - so funny and entertaining and
Ellen was just as charming as she is on TV.She just loves people and she has the best comedic timing - my face was
hurting from smiling and laughing for the whole hour.Then, the hour was over and she thanked
everyone for coming ... and that was that - over just like that!This dream of mine I have had for four years
was just over.I don't in any way want
to make it seem like I was disappointed by the experience, but my heart was a
little sad when it was over.And, it was
actually pretty odd to be that close to her, and not have ANY access to her -
nothing!To be that close and to want to
just be able to say "hey ... I genuinely love you ... thanks for making my day ...
everyday" and to not be able to talk to her or even get close to her - that was
weirder than I thought it would be.Clearly I understand how famous she is and I also had a reality check
when the truth was that she has NO idea that I even exist.But, I also think she would really like me if
she had met me ... I am pretty fun!
I think in all of this hype and excitement ... I felt the Lord
telling me - "You always have access to me ... You don't blend in with a crowd
and when you call to me - I am always anticipating talking to you."I guess I wasn't expecting that, but the Lord
knew exactly what my heart needed to hear after a day full of so many emotions!
There is so much to say about this past Training Camp! But, I will tell you the highlight of the week - the Holy Spirit showed up! I mean, the Holy Spirit showed up in a way that was powerful and real - and completely life-changing.
I grew up learning about the Holy Spirit - but mostly about how He is our comforter. I am now learning about who He is - as the one who empowers me and overwhelms me with His love and His presence. I am learning to understand that He brings freedom through Christ and moves through us to bring healing. I saw Him show up and do some incredible things - I saw people get healed this past week. This was one of very few times I have been a part of seeing someone get healed - physically healed. Healed from back pain, healed from all sorts of pain in their bodies, and emotionally healed from abuse, unforgiveness, and poor choices.
One night during worship, lead by Jonathan David & Melissa Helser - who by the way are the most anointed worship leaders I have ever heard ... Melissa began to sing prayers from her heart. It had been a long day for me and I was SO looking forward to worship that night. I was tired and I just NEEDED to hear a word from the Lord - I just needed to sit in His presence and feel His love wrap me up. So, I sat on the ground and I just sat still and quiet - waiting and anticipating what He was going to say to me. Melissa began to sing "Wash over us -- Wash over us -- Wash over us..." and I knew that was all I wanted. I wanted the Holy Spirit to wash over me, cleanse me all over again, and just meet me with His love and presence. And, in that moment - it began to rain on us .... and the longer she sang it - the more intense it rained. And, I knew that I was sitting in the physical presence of the Lord - He was answering her prayer .... He was literally washing over us, washing over me and I was soaking it up. I sat in that rain and just basked in the closeness of the Lord.
There is a song that the Helser's sing - called Endless Ocean, that has quickly become a favorite of mine. It says "You are an Endless Ocean, a Bottomless Sea.... " and it ends by saying "There's no end to the affection, You have for me" I am learning that this is soooo true -- really learning how to walk in that. The Lord is crazy in love with me and I am His delight - and the affection that He has for me NEVER ends ... no matter WHAT I do/think/say/feel!! And, the depths of who He is - is endless and bottomless!
